"Do you think he's seen us?" (Kim Brewster and Lynn Cameron)
"Left a bit."
"Did you hear the one the Two Kirstys told on Children in Need on Friday? About the getaway car after a big jewelry robbery in Glasgow which collided with a cement lorry."
"Police are looking for four hardened criminals!" (Laura Kirkpatrick, Sarah Reid, Barbara McFarlane)
"And that's what I think of your jokes, Skippy!" (Kelly Wood)
"Mmmm. Peppermint!" (Becca Kesley)
"Don't look now, but is there someone behind me?" (Caitlin Barr and Tasha Aitken)
"This b..... bus better come soon." (Jackie Lockhart)
Claire multi-tasking. "I'll just have a quick practice for the team carol singing as I chuck this takeout!" (Claire MacDonald)
"It's OK Eve. You youngsters have got to catch your sleep when you can. I'll keep an eye on things while you have a wee nap." (Eve Muirhead, Kelly Wood)
"I never knew you snored!"
Thanks to the girls for letting me take the Michael! Other captions are available. Or you could make up your own! Photos © Skip Cottage. And of course all the results and linescores from the Columba Cream Scottish Ladies Championship are here.